Obsessing Over The Wrong Things!

Back in June 2019 when I was first diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and Graves’ disease I set myself a load of goals to try and recover some of the fitness I’d lost over the previous four years of being undiagnosed and really not well. For a few months I was really focused on them but then from about October 2019 I kinda forgot to keep track and instead started worrying about things that really didn’t matter.

My goals from June 2019!

I’ve been so distracted by my weight that I forgot why I wanted to improve my health and fitness in the first place!

I wanted to get fitter so I could regain my ability to train on pole and aerial equipment to the level I could years ago. I set myself mini targets and looking back, some I smashed. But others, that really mattered to me I have completely ignored or avoided.

The first goal I smashed was getting my front splits, I managed that by the end of July 2019 and I’m now working on an over split.

The fitter I’ve got the more obsessed I’ve become with the wrong things and I’d completely forgot about all my goals because I’ve been getting to caught up on trying to lower the number on the scales and improve the appearance of my arse, which a recent photoshoot showed me, isn’t really that bad!

My butt during a recent shoot, I actually quite like it in this photo!

But someone reminded me the other day, while I was having a mini tantrum about my thyroid playing up and my inability to lose weight, that despite all my thyroid fun and games, I’ve progressed a lot and should be pleased with myself.

It’s not the cleanest of inverts but it’s controlled, so another goal achieved. Now I just want to be able to do it with straight legs!

Back in June last year I couldn’t even walk up the stairs without my legs shaking and one of the biggest issues was that Graves’ disease had caused me to lose almost 15kg (most of which was muscle). I realised I needed to go back and look at the goals I set myself to remind myself how far I’ve come. And to set myself a few new ones to try and get back on track and stop focusing on my weight because as I’m rebuilding myself, some of the weight I lost should be going back on. I’m slowly getting my muscles back!

Again, not the best but it’s still 10 push ups. A huge improvement from the two on my knees I could barely manage last year.

The push ups, splits and inverting on the pole I managed to achieve but I’ve avoided working on the aerial equipment except to demo the most basic of basics, and even those I couldn’t do last year and can now, so still an improvement. But I need to push myself a bit more now and actually do the things I set out to do and try to stay focused on the things that actually matter to me!

Published by aerialemma

I'm a 40 year old aerial arts and pole dance instructor who has recently been diagnosed with Graves' Disease

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