A Monday Morning Rant!

As soon as I explain to people what Graves’ disease is, their instant response is ‘over active thyroid? I bet it’s easy to lose weight, you’re so lucky.’

Yes, when my Graves’ disease wasn’t diagnosed I lost a lot of weight, but only after putting on loads first because I was eating like a horse, and constantly hungry for about a year. The weight I lost was predominantly muscle. I lost all my strength to. I was also suffering with severe depression and anxiety, I constantly felt like I might have a heart attack, my liver had started failing, I was losing my hair, my nails were detaching from my toes, and all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and sleep. So no, I wasn’t lucky, and I would have quite happily swapped my weight loss for feeling a little bit more human.

I don’t think I’m over weight now, but I don’t want to put anymore on either! I want my weight to stay the same.

And now, now I’m working my ass off and weight loss won’t happen. In fact I’m doing weight training five times a week, stretching for an hour every day, doing Metafit eight times a week, and pole three to five times a week. I’m eating clean and restricting my calorie intake and managing my macros (to a sensible manageable amount) And in the last week I’ve gain 2kg!!!!

Apparently it’s normal but no-one has actually explained to me why it’s normal, if and when it will stop and what I can possibly do to help it.

I know I’m not fat. But that’s now. How long before I gain that much weight that I am over weight? I’m aware it’s better to be over weight than having a failing liver or a heart that’s pumping out my chest. But how long before I’ve put on that much weight that I’m increasing my risk of a heart attack from carrying to much weight or the depression comes back full force because I hate the fact that I can’t lose the weight.

I’m guessing to anyone else that this probably seems like an insane concern. But I am working my ass off. I don’t want to put weight on. Especially as no one can actually explain to me why it’s happening! 

If anyone has any explanation then feel free to let me know because it’s pissing me off and honestly makes me want to give up.

Published by aerialemma

I'm a 40 year old aerial arts and pole dance instructor who has recently been diagnosed with Graves' Disease

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